Got Stick?

Brought up with a Stick!

Have you guys heard of the saying, “Spare the rod, spoil the child?”  Probably not if you were brought up the traditional Lao way.  It’s more like, ” Get out the BIG rod and don’t even spoil the child!”  At least in my household, it was like that.  My momma used whatever she could lay her hands on, flip flops, brooms, her knuckles, fly swatters etc… She had many instruments of torture to discipline us.  Unlike, many kids nowadays we  never thought about calling the cops accusing our parents of abuse, because we saw it as discipline. Obviously it worked because look at us now, we are pretty self-disciplined! No matter what our parents did to us, we were brought up to show them and anybody older than us respect in word and deed.  That was drilled into our heads repeatedly, everyday!  We were told to never talk back even if we were wrong.  I think many young Lao people have forgotten that important moral code:  Honor and Respect and yes that means for yourself too! What do you guys think?  Have young Laotian people forgotten that code?  Do they even live by that ethic anymore? Why such a drastic change in our cultural beliefs?

Heroes

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. “
Elie Wiesel

One of my hero is Elie Wiesel, the author of Night and a survivor of the Holocaust.  What I love and admire about him the most is that he is a human rights activist.  Fighting and speaking for the defenseless has always been my passion in life.  I went into teaching not only because I wanted to make a difference in the lives of young people but demonstrate to them how they can affect the world and make it a better place for everybody. To my students I have always emphatically stress the importance of not remaining silent in the face of tragedy.  I always tell them they can’t stand by in the face of injustice when they can do something about it which is speak up and express their opinions in the least. When I was looking at the videos of the Hmong being hunted like animals, tortured, and systemically killed, I can not help but be reminded of the quote by Elie and the lessons I try to teach my students.  During the Vietnam war, the Hmong helped the U.S. in the conflict against the Viet Cong, as well as Laos, but after the war they were forgotten and abandoned by all.  Now they are displaced and hunted by the Lao government  because they are seen as rebels.  The leader of the Hmong have appealed to the United States and Kofi Anan of the United Nations to intervene on behalf of the Hmong people to no avail. It is pointless to accuse the Lao government because unless we are there as witnesses to these crimes, we can not point our fingers. What we do know for a fact is that the Hmongs desperately need help. International observers must be sent in to the jungle of Laos by the U.N. to see what really is going on.  We can not let such tragedy continue, we must stop all holocaust whether it’s in Darfur or Laos or anywhere in the world. Like Elie said we must take sides no matter what.  In the face of human suffering I must stand by the victim’s side and express my outrage, pain, and disappointment in humanity. 

Lao/Thai Soap Opera

Pleng Ruk Rim Fang Kong Lakorn
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I just got done watching the Lao Lakorn (soap opera) starring Weir and Alexandra.  I can definitely confess that I was obsessed with that love story!  Thank God for Darly at Saolao.net for posting the episodes! I was like a druggie who was hooked!  The Lakorn was so good because of the chemistry between the two lead actors.  Also the songs were awesome.  In fact I liked the songs so much I ordered the CD from eThaiCD.com.  If you have nothing better do or needed to be reminded of what a good Lao love story is then you need to watch it.  Saolao.net has all the episodes. I love the story because it shows how traditional Lao courtship is  like: sweet and tender.  The Lakorn reminded me of my teenage years growing up as a young woman in the Lao community. It brought back memories of how the young Lao men showed  how they liked you through sweet compliments and songs. The guys took the time to make you feel special and pretty through with their teasing.  I don’t think dating is like that anymore.  I think we rush through the process of getting to know someone because we get toobusy or just plain lazy to put too much effort into winning someone’s heart.

Ten Indicators that you grew up in a traditional Laotian household!

Category: Quiz/Survey

1. Since you were not allowed to go anywhere, you didn’t need a curfew!

2. No boyfriends if you are a girl unless you want to end up married to him!

3. No talking back to your parents. Go ahead and try to assert your rights, and you will end up with a palm imprint on your face!  

4. Girls, you are the cook, babysitter, and maid in the house and no you didn’t get paid for it either! 

5. Girls, no dressing like a hoochie or acting like one. Go ahead and be called a eheekill by the community!

6. You are a reflection of your parents so when you do something bad, people will say they didn’t raise you right.

7. You were taught from an early age that you have to support your parents when you they get older. Don’t even think about putting them in an old folk’s home!

8.  Your parents hit you in public when you do something annoying or wrong. Standing next to a cop will not stop them from  whacking you on the head.

9. Show respect to your elders at all times even the ones who don’t deserve it!

10. Always listen to your parents because they know what’s best for you. Even if they give you advice you have not intention of following, just nod your head and smile unless you want a 10 hour lecture on respect!

 

To Be Strict or Not To Be Strict!

As I was thinking about my relationship with my parents, I thought of the famous quote from Hamlet, ” To be or Not to be”.  Yes, I have modified the quotation to fit my rambling.  My cousins, friends, and sisters have always adamantly believe that our parents were too strict with us when we were growing up.  To this day, we still cling to that belief like a lifeboat and we are not going to let it go anytime soon! Especially us the ones in our thirties, who were raised in a typical traditional Laotian household. I think it was worse growing up as a young Laotian Lao girl!  For example, we were not allow to have a boyfriend even if we were eighteen! Ages doesn’t matter in our household when it came to dating because your parents’ word was the law!  Breaking that law to us was worse than breaking any rules that govern society. Yes, I have to admit many of us  broke that rule by having boyfriends anyway!  However, we did not even enjoy having boyfriends because we were petrified of being  seen  talking to them, much less doing anything embarrassing.  This ever present fear, kept us physically distant from our boyfriends!  Either I am getting too old or I am too old fashion, but I think some young Laotian girls have way too much freedom when it comes to dating.  They pretty much can and do whatever they want without fear of reprisal!  Do you think parents should be stricter or not when it comes to their daughters?