If a Lao community has a strong leader would that make a difference?

In a Laotian community, a group of elders always lead the way when it comes to proper etiquette, behavior, social norms and expectations.  Sometimes the group of leaders are formally chosen in community meetings and discussion. However, in the smaller Lao community, it is commonly agreed upon that whoever is the eldest should be the figurehead or adviser to the people.  This is the case in the Lao community I grew up in. The eldest became the prevailing voice in disputes, disagreement or discussion concerning topics ranging from social, political, and economic.  These group of elders are usually at community functions, celebrations, and ceremonies.  They are revered and respected for their wisdom and advice.  They in a sense keep the Lao community in line as well as encourage everybody to be upstanding citizens in the community.  Having a group of elders who are beyond reproach in behavior and decorum provided a strong foundation for the Lao community.  The younger Laotians strived to model their own behaviors after the elders.  Of course, not all were successful, but at least they tried.  When they would fall off the wagon, they knew that they would have to face the criticism or admonishment from the elders  and the thought that they would disappoint was punishment enough. At least my generation, still had respect for our elders to always be aware of our behavior at all times. We held them in high regards because they themselves did the same thing! Unfortunately, some elders are behaving like they are teenagers themselves by getting into public fights and displaying unacceptable behaviors. Without a strong foundation in our community, our efforts of making a difference in the lives of our young people will dissipate.

From 1979 up to 1996, Clovis, New Mexico had a thriving Lao community.  There were at least 100 families in Clovis.  Every weekend there was always something going on at somebody’s house.  We always had some kind of celebration or events such as birthday parties, weddings, graduations, or engagements.  It was not a perfect community, but the elders kept a semblance of order. We respected them and listened to them because they practice what they preach.  The adults in our lives set good examples for us to live by.  I know that in many Lao communities the elders have forgotten their responsibilities to the next generation. 

The role or dynamic of the elders might not have changed for some community, but the new group of elders in some community have become more laxed in their values, expectations, behaviors or social  expectations.  Some elders themselves have deviated from the Laotian way of doing things.  It is disappointing to see some of them acting socially and morally irresponsible by having extramarital affairs, dressing like they are in their teens, gossiping, instigating fights and forgetting that they are a role model for the younger generations.  If the elders in our communities do not uphold a high standard of behavior then can we blame the younger generations for acting up or doing whatever they desire without caring about Lao traditions?

Why should we put up with racial discrimination?

I know all of us, no matter what our race is, have been at one time or another discriminated against, hurt, embarrassed, humiliated, or angered by another ethnic group.  However, we have to move on even though we find it immensely challenging to forgive and forget.  We should not generalized and assume a certain race is horrible based on the actions of one person or a group of people.  I say this because I see too many individuals doing this including people in the public eye like John McCain, a presidential hopeful.  The article might not be current, but the issue is still revelant today :  racial slurs. After I read the article by Katie Hong, of the Seattlepi.com I was appalled and disappointed by his racist remark about how he hated the “gooks” the Vietnamese guards who held him captive during the Vietnam War. Even though I sympathize with him about his horrible treatment by the North Vietnamese, I do not condone his racial slur because like Katie Hong said “To the Asian American community, the term is akin to the racist word “nigger.”            I have to acquiesce with Katie that it is irresponsible that the other presidential hopefuls back then as well as the media had made light of the racial slur by ignoring it and acting like it never happened.  If his remark had targeted African Americans that would cause such an uproar that it would have dominated headline news before we even had a chance to blink much less open our mouths. Also, the Reverend Al Sharpton would be on the first flight out to Arizona to rally a protest in front of John McCain’s house. However, since it is targeting Asians, it is no big deal?  Where is our “Al Sharpton” ? Who is going to stand up for the Asian American population? Just because we do not protest everything does not mean that we do not care how we are treated.  As a member of the Asian community I find it unfair and disappointing that our feelings are not being considered and our opinions are not being heard. Are Asians underrepresented? Are we still invisible?  Do people see us as a stepping stone?  Do we give this impression that we are too accepting?  Are we too nice?  Are we indifferent?  All I know is, we should not put up with racial slurs.  Nobody has a right to make disparaging remarks about us because we are a part of this country.  Maybe once in awhile we need to throw a fit like every other race to show our displeasure and disgust!

I am not Chinese, Japanese or Pekinese!

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Being a refugee from a little known Southeastern country can be a curse rather than a blessing.  For one, most people have a difficult time forming any sort of mental frame for the whereabouts of Laos.  I have often been asked by many countless individuals who are truly curious about where I am from “originally”.  When that question pops up I find myself mentally inhaling and exhaling before I say, “I’m from a small Southeastern country called Laos.”  I let that information gradually sink in for a few seconds and eventually without fail, I notice the almost embarrassed puzzlement on their face.  Even though some people do not come outright and ask, “Where the hell is that?” It is apparent that they are thinking it. To end the awkward pause in the conversation, I would instantaneous launch my brief Geography speech on the physical location of where Laos is.  At the end of my lesson, some of them would say “OH!” which can mean two things (depending on how they say it): that they still don’t know where Laos is or they actually realize its location. 

            It is interesting to me that some people think we Asians look alike because as an Asian I can tell 9 out of 10 times if a person is Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Pilipino, Vietnamese etc.  The way they walk, their skin color, the shape of their eyes, and manners is a dead give away to me. Interestingly, now as an adult, I do not get angry or too upset when people mistaken me for another race because I know people are not doing it on purpose.  However, growing up was another matter.  I remember some of my classmates in elementary and junior high would call me “chink” or “Jap” or “Gook” and that would incense me to no end because I knew they were being malicious and racist. When they would refer to me by those terms which were meant to be demeaning or derogatory, I would automatically tell them I’m not Chinese or Japanese, but I am Laotian and Vietnamese.  Of course if I had any hopes that my announcement would enlighten them and stop the racial slurs I was mistaken because throughout my formative years my siblings and I were victims of racial slurs made by ignorant people. Of course I have overcome those racially motivated comments because I have learned to forgive, but I have not forgotten the lesson learned from my experience which is to not tolerate racial injustice and slurs. 

            I am often mistaken for a philipina and I am not insulted because it is a genuine mistake and one not intended to cast a racial slur on me. My point is if you do not know or can not tell one Asian from another just ask us and we will tell you what we are.