Got Stick?

Brought up with a Stick!

Have you guys heard of the saying, “Spare the rod, spoil the child?”  Probably not if you were brought up the traditional Lao way.  It’s more like, ” Get out the BIG rod and don’t even spoil the child!”  At least in my household, it was like that.  My momma used whatever she could lay her hands on, flip flops, brooms, her knuckles, fly swatters etc… She had many instruments of torture to discipline us.  Unlike, many kids nowadays we  never thought about calling the cops accusing our parents of abuse, because we saw it as discipline. Obviously it worked because look at us now, we are pretty self-disciplined! No matter what our parents did to us, we were brought up to show them and anybody older than us respect in word and deed.  That was drilled into our heads repeatedly, everyday!  We were told to never talk back even if we were wrong.  I think many young Lao people have forgotten that important moral code:  Honor and Respect and yes that means for yourself too! What do you guys think?  Have young Laotian people forgotten that code?  Do they even live by that ethic anymore? Why such a drastic change in our cultural beliefs?

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5 thoughts on “Got Stick?

  1. i don’t know about the lao, but i’m glad not to have beaten by my mom. i’ve experienced something like emotionally with one of college professors. and i wouldn’t call “respect” what she taught us all. it was more of secret hate and fake tolerance.

  2. karmadiva

    La Flor thank you for leaving a comment. I just wanted to clarify that my momma did NOT beat us to death! Trust me with two sisters who graduated with Psychology degrees and are working in the fields, I know about the different forms of abuse! Yes, she did hit us when we needed it, but not beat us until we were pleading for our lives! You are taking my words too seriously. Many Lao people who have grown up in a traditional household will understand what I’m saying. My mother is my hero, she is the one who taught me self-control leads to self-discipline!

  3. ladybug

    Girl, I am so right there with you. Your mom and my dad are so much a like. But yes, even though my dad was really, really, really, super strict. He has taught me to respect my self and definitely others and the elderly. He kept me from going wild.
    Yes I agree w/you on the fact that today’s young lao have definitley lost their way a little. Sorry if I offend any of you but the young lao have really strayed from traditional lao upbrining. And I don’t mean just going to the temple once a month!
    I mean all the things our parents had to give up to give us life here in America and try not to take it for granted!

  4. My mom and dad never once hit me, maybe I was a good kid, but they did hit my younger/older sisters, and I can’t say that it made them a better person, especially my younger sister. As I get older, I kidda like the American way of discipline where you punish them by taking things away, and allowing them and yourself time to cool off before discussing why you don’t like what they’re doing, and why it’s wrong. Some parents don’t think that little children will understand but kids this day and age are very bright and have an understanding more so than we expect, but most parents don’t have the time nor patient to do that, it’s easier to just ‘do it the old fashion way of discipline’, take your frustration out, but just remember the emotional scars stay with the children, then the vicious cycle continues toward their children as well. I can say this holds true for my younger sister, I think parents should think before they say those harsh words to their children because we can’t take back those words, and the emotional scar only lower their self-esteem. I hope you don’t mind me sharing my opinion. 🙂

  5. karmadiva

    Thank you Ginger! I always love to read your comments! I think hitting or spanking is a very common practice among Laotian family. I was raised in a household where you got hit when you did something wrong, which one can equate to what Americans called spanking. We were not left with any emotional scars or physical because most of the time we knew what we did was wrong. In fact, my siblings and I would punish ourselves for our parents like cleaning the house or the yard and that was the end of it.

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