Why are there so many men seeking younger girls for relationships?

Lately, I have seen a rise in Laotian older men dating younger girls and even marrying them. One of these older men is my grandma’s brother who went back to Laos to get a wife. She is in her twenties and he is in his sixties. Even though he doesn’t look like his age, I still find their relationship uncomfortable and awkward to accept. Maybe one of the reason is that she is half my age.

My grandma’s brother is not the first case of Laotian men going back to the village to find a wife. I just find it interesting that they can’t find a women here in the U.S. or want one from here. Many men and women have told me one of the reason why so many Laotian men are flocking back to the motherland for a spouse is because the Laotian women here has become too Americanized. Also many Laotian women are no longer content with being a traditional housewife whereas a woman from the village would be happy with a simple life. Of course this is all a matter of opinion.

Besides Laotian men I have heard about many stories of American men going to Asian countries to find wives. I find it sad and disturbing that they have to resort this to find a wife. I find it hard to believe that these young girls are in love with these old men! Maybe I’m fickle but I think they are being used by girls for money and or a Visa. Why would all these men go through the trouble for finding love in a foreign country? Do they think these girls are innocent and would love them for themselves? I truly feel sorry for them because they are so desperate for love that they would resort to this.

If you are interested in seeing more about this subject, watch the trailer. According to Youtube description, “Seeking Asian Female” is an eccentric modern love story about Steven and Sandy—an aging white man with “yellow fever” who is obsessed with marrying any Asian woman, and the young Chinese bride he finds online.

What is the worst fear you have about love?

The WomenWhat is the worst fear you have? Not finding love or loosing the love you have? Everybody has heard of the old adage: It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Is that true though for those people who have had their heart broken? Would they still have made the same choice? Speaking from experience, I would have to say yes. Catherine Frazier the character from the movie The Women describes the pain of heartbreak the best. She said,”It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream you know the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but its all out of your control, you cant trust anything anymore, no one is who they say they are, your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again”. I would have to agree that if we had our heart broken no one will be able to do that again because I dont think we fully heal from it. With time the pain may lessen because someone came along to give us hope and inspire us to give love a second chance. However, in the back of our mind, we already have a backup plan in case anything happens or sometimes we may not even put all our efforts into loving someone with all of our hearts and soul. For those of us who are able to love again without reservation, I applaud the courage you have.

Love is like the clouds

Watching something so beautiful can never get old.

I have never considered myself a romantic or maybe I’m just in denial. I don’t know why I don’t want to admit that I’m a romantic at heart. Maybe, for fear that people will think I’m sappy or emotional. Or maybe it’s more complicated than that. Maybe I’m just afraid to utter the words out loud about what love is for fear that I will never find it or that my expectations are too high for anyone to reach it.

Love is like the clouds that hide its face
before the sunsets closes in, and covers the sky
Achingly beautiful, touching our very core
With its burst of colors from the stormy greys to the brilliant blues and pinks
Before being lovingly embraced by Night,
No longer visible until the sunrise and a new dawn begins
Bringing with it the glorious rays of a new day,
A day where we once again believe in love

I love watching the sunrise and sunset because it calms the yearning in my heart and gives me hope of finding a love that is all encompassing and consuming..A love without conditions.

Around 6:00 in Yuma, Az

Taken with the iphone

Never get tired of looking at this.

Sunset on San Diego

Hawaiian sunset

Palms and sunset

View from Diamond Head, Hawaii

Dreams of love

Yearning for the ONE
Soul that is meant to be mine,
Dreams is all it is.

Red thread of destiny

Inexplicable 
Sadness overwhelms my soul
My heart in pieces 
The red thread of destiny
No longer binds me to you

What’s stronger? Love or Lust?

According to the Judith Orloff of Psychology Today,”Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict gets a fix of cocaine as when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction.” I find this comparison interesting and found myself wondering what is stronger? Love or Lust? Also are men more lustful than women? Is it easier to control love than lust?

Do men and women cheat on each other because they can’t help themselves? If lust is as strong as Judith Orloff claims in her article, ” Love vs Lust: Do You Know the Difference?” then it seems lust is more powerful. Love doesn’t always stop people from cheating on the ones they love . It just makes them feel bad afterwards.

Love through the eyes of Andrea Bocelli

 

Two weeks ago I received the best gift from my little sister, Khonnie. It was just an ordinary day for such a special gift and totally unexpected. It made me realize how much I love surprises and how much my sister knows me and remembers things I tell her. So here is the message she sent me on facebook that made my day in a stressful week.

“Hey..do you want to go see Andrea Bocelli in concert at Hollywood bowl on Sat..June 8..we will go up that morning and come back Sun..we are staying at Chateau Marmont..where all the stars go…let me know..I’ll buy your tix..call me after 8:30pm”.

I was besides myself with joy!! Was I going to say no to Andrea Bocelli and Chateau Marmont?! I think not especially when he is my favorite singer! I love Andrea because his romantic songs reminds me that I should never give up on finding true love that is passionate and all consuming. His songs expresses the many facet of love from the sweet to the passionate to the magical and even tragic.

Take his song Someone Like You, it expresses a love that is sweet and pure. Who would not want to be told:

For me if one dream can come true
Then I will love someone like you
In your eyes I see
A life that could mean so much more
With you next to me

How about Besame Mucho ( Kiss me a lot) which is a sad love song about the fear of losing someone you love. All of us can surely identify with this. I think it songs more sad and romantic when he is singing it in Spanish than English because the emotions he is expressing is not lost in translation.

Kiss me , kiss me a lot
As if tonight it was
The last time

Kiss me, kiss me a lot
Me who fears of losing you
Losing you afterwards

Here’s one of my favorite, one that resonates deeply in my heart and reminds me of the kind of love I want and need. Por ti Volare is simply heart wrenching and romantic. Reminds me of my favorite part of a man:  his voice.

When you’re far away
I dream of an horizon
with no words
and I know that you’re always there, there
A moon made for me
always illuminated for me
after me, after me, after me

For you I’ll fly
wait till I arrive
the end of my journey is you
to live just the two of us

I love this song he did with Sarah Brightman, Time with say goodbye. Their voices blend so well.

When you are far away
I dream of the horizon
And words fail,
And, yes, I know
That you are with me;
You, my moon, are here with me,
My sun, you are here with me
With me, with me, with me.

Time to say goodbye.
To countries I never
Saw and shared with you,
Now, yes, I shall experience them.
I’ll go with you
On ships across seas
Which, I know,
No, no, exist no longer

 

 

 

 

What is love?

After watching the movie, This means war, I am left to wonder, what is that IT factor that helps us decide if someone is the ONE? What if the person that you fall for is not really who they say they are but a shell of the real person? How about if they are projecting their best quality to snare you into their trap and once you are  there, you realize too late that they are not meant for you? Are some of us so desperate for love that we will make something out of nothing at all? Can we fall just about anything and make them into something that we want?

If you haven’t seen the movie, and you like romantic comedy then check out the trailer:

How long would you wait for the right person? Your entire life?

Last night I watched the movie, “The Time Traveler’s Wife”. I had read the book several months ago, but just got around to watching the movie. As with any book that is made into a movie, there is always some part ir elements of the story that is left out. One element that is well translated is the love the main characters have for each other. The movie centers around their relationship and the effects his time traveling has on their relationship.  The main character would instantaneously disappear at odd hours  or time of the day. Sometimes, his disappearance (even though it is not voluntarily) upsets her because she needs him and he is not around. For many people, they can totally relate to this and they do not have to have a time traveler spouse… it could be because of a job especially those who has military wives or husband. These individuals have to fend for themselves quite often. This constant disapperance due to the responsibilty of a job… interrrupts the relationship and puts a strain on it.  Just like the main character, he tells her that he does not want her to wait for him but she says she that she has always been waiting for him and will continue to do so.  How many of us can actually wait for that perfect love, the kind where you feel totally content when you are with that person and no longer feel like you are still searching? How many of us, can say that the person we are with is “it” the “one” … our soul mate?  How many of us are settling for the next best thing because we think we will not find the “perfect love?”   How many of us if given the choice or chance to briefly be with someone that we feel intensely about , instead of being with someone that we feel content with for the rest of our lives?  I ask this question because of the quote from the movie: “Is it better to be extremely happy for a short time, even if you lose it, than to be just ok for your whole life?”
— Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler’s Wife)