How many more sunsets do we have left?

“Keep looking up! I learn from the past, dream about the future and look up. There’s nothing like a beautiful sunset to end a healthy day.: Rachel Boston

Picture taken on the way from work at my favorite spot where you can see the city of Providence.

Cold winter day picture at Bullocks Point, Rhode Island

Picture taken after I had dropped my daughter off at Brookdale Assisted Living

Picture near my house.

City of Providence. The Omni Hotel where President Obama stayed when he was in town.

On a drive home.

Near my house.

Bullocks Point.

On Scott drive in Riverside.

Waterfire Providence

One of my favorite event is the Waterfire in Providence. According to the Waterfire Providence website, ” WaterFire Providence® is an independent, 501(c)3 non-profit arts organization whose mission is to inspire Providence and its visitors by revitalizing the urban experience, fostering community engagement and creatively transforming the city by presenting WaterFire for all to enjoy.” Speaking from experience, I have to say they have accomplished their mission. Waterfire is a great family event where people from the surrounding states come to Rhode Island to sample the diverse food, music, and culture from all over the world. For more information about this event, please visit: http://waterfire.org/.

You can buy these star Lanterns.

 

Many diverse performers such as this Chinese musicians.

Nice food area.

There is a cool cauldron lighting ceremony which is the best part of the event.

Hundreds of people come out to see the lighting.

Make sure you wear comfortable walking shoes because you will be doing a lot of walking. If you are wearing heels it will be challenging to walk on the stone cobblestones.

Monsters Alive!

Since I love learning new things, I love to go exploring. Luckily for me, I have good friends like Van, the owner of the Yellow Peril Art Gallery, who takes me around Providence to cool places I would not have known. For example,  he took me to this cool “monster” studio in downtown Providence where they make movie props like the ones you see below.  It is quite amazing watching the “artist” put finishing touches on their products. I admire their tenacity and attention to details. Makes me wish I was as talented as them.

The Pumpkin Patch in Rhode Island

 

 

Farm grew more than just pumpkins but during fall season they are known for their pumpkin patch!

Yes you could take your kids to a local grocery store to pick a pumpkin but somehow it’s not as fun or exciting!

Many choices to pick from!

Fresh farm grown veggies!

WE love the hayride to the corn maze!

My daughter and her Aunt just enjoying the ride and conversation.

Wet got our clues for the corn maze puzzles!

I reminded my children of the movie, ” Children of the Corn!”

My daughter,Anora reading the first clue and trying to solve it to get to the next!

Memories! Lots of them! One of my favorite things to give my children is happy memories so that when they have children of their own they can say things like, ” Your grandma used to take us into the corn fields and try to scare the shit out of us by leaving us there!” In all honesty, I was the one who was scared that some insane killer from the movie, ” Children of the Corn” was going to pop out and grab me! My kids were laughing at me for being paranoid that some crazy person was going to do an reenactment of the movie! They were more focus on figuring out the clues to the corn maze so we can find our way out! With a minor help from and Eagle Scout who happened to be at the corn maze, we were able to figure out the clues and got out of the maze! Okay it may have taken us two hours but hey we got out and I didn’t get jumped by any deranged person or scare scrow! It’s nice to be out in nature and hang with your kids instead of sitting in front of the TV.

 

900 Million!Biggest Powerball Frenzy!

 

Normally I do not buy the lotto because I never win anything. However, this time I jumped into the fray and joined others in the madness, in the dream of winning big.  I did not rush to buy the tickets though. First I ate my  military diet breakfast.

Then  I cleaned the house and made my daughter food and I. Not very appetizing lunch this time because we are on a our military diet  meal.

Then after I dropped her off at work, I went to buy the lotto at two different places. The first place was the Shaw’s Grocery store near my daughter’s work. Then the mobile gas station. After that I headed to my favorite sunset point.

I spent some time there relaxing and enjoying the cloudy weather which I call, ” love making” or ” booty weather”!:) I took a selfie to commemorate the occasion, in case I win.

So now I’m relaxing at Starbucks blogging instead of rushing home to wait for the drawing.  Yes it would be nice to win but even if I don’t win, I still have so many things that gives me pleasure like a beautiful day with my daughter, my solitary time at my favorite sunset spot and ending the night at one of my favorite places.  We don’t have to win the lotto to be happy. We can be happy now, everyday, doing things that don’t cost us money.

 

Drugs and Mental Illness: Teen Voice

 

As a senior, my daughter has to do a senior project which is a graduation  requirement. For the project, she has to write a research paper, have some kind of product and do a presentation.

 After careful consideration and much soul searching she decided to settle on mental illness and drug addiction because of her uncle, who is dealing with both issues.  I wanted to share her first paragraph with you. This description is based on what happened when we went to drop off some food to my brother in a 30 day drug clinic. That night she did not go in because she said it would break her heart to see her uncle in such a depressing state. She stayed in the car while I ran down and drop off some of his favorite things. I was not allowed to visit him for too long, just enough to give him a hug and the food.  I’m sharing a part of her writing in hopes that you will get a glimpse of what families go through when they have a loved one in crisis.

“The fluorescent lights shone out of the building touching the dark night sky, like a beacon to the lost. The parking lot was empty except for the beat up toyota that belonged to the family. A nurse from inside waved away the family as they left. The drive home was as quiet as their surroundings, as the previous moments were heavy with sadness. Having a family member with a drug addiction did not just affect the user. It was as toxic as the drugs used. Having a family member with a mental illness was inexplicably hard. Having a family member or friend with both is unimaginably difficult.”

Her water color that she did as part of her presentation, depicting a drug addict.

 

There is no Prince Charming so…

Recently Jennifer Lopez did an interview for InStyle magazine in which she  said, “I was waiting for Prince Charming. Everybody I met was going to be the guy I was going to spend my life with.” This comment reminded me of a conversation I had with my 17 year daughter a couple of months ago.

 

As a habit, we always sit in the car and talk after we get home from somewhere instead of going up to our apartment. Sometimes it’s because we are lazy or if there is a good song on the radio, we would say, ” Let’s sit for ten minutes or after this song then we will get down.” So on one of them nights, we were talking about her friends and how they were shock that she never had any types of relationship with anybody.

My daughter is 17, fixing to be 18 in February and has never had a boyfriend. In this day and age that is very RARE indeed. It’s not that she doesn’t want one or she’s holding out for her Prince Charming. And there has been plenty of guys who have liked her but either it was the wrong timing or the feeling wasn’t mutual. So as she was telling me about her how most of her friends already had sex or some type of fling or dating experience, I was thinking to myself, ” Thank God she hasn’t done none of those things because I am not ready to deal with that shit!” Before I even finished that thought she said, ” Mom I don’t think mothers should raise their daughters on the false promise that a Knight in Shining Armor or Prince Charming is going to show up one day and give them a happily ever after.” I cautiously asked her, ” You don’t believe in a fairy tale ending or believe in true love?” She replied, ” I believe in living in the moment and not think about what’s going to happen or if the relationship is going to last. Maybe the person that we are at this moment may not need anything more than just what we get or have with that person. Maybe down the road they may not be who we want or need and that’s okay.”  I nodded my head slowly while reflecting on my own beliefs and said cautiously ” I know what you are saying and I agree to a certain extent but I still believe in a happily ever after.” My daughter laughs at my typical and romantic response and says, ” Well, either there are no Prince Charming or mine got lost in the woods or got too lazy to find me so…”

Don’t be a lousy Lao person!

Traditional Lao dress, “Sinh”

You know what annoys me the most about  some Laotian women is when they make contradictory statements like, ” I am a traditional Lao woman” or “Have respect for our culture and not show off your body” but then they themselves proceed to post pics of themselves frolicking in a string bikini on the beach or pouting pics of themselves that pretty much says, ” Come get me.” I think that is being very hypercritical of other Laotian women who may not wear sinh everyday or traditional Lao clothes. You can’t lecture people about having pride in being a traditional Laotian woman while posting half naked pics of yourself on Facebook or other social media.

*** This picture was taken last year when my friend, pictured here, and I went to the public library in Providence to tell other people about Lao textile and give young kids the opportunity to try out some traditional clothes.

Besides, what does being a traditional Laotian woman mean anymore? Does that mean you sit at home cooking, cleaning, and obeying your husband? Well, some of us can’t afford to that that anymore, especially us, single mothers who has to work to feed and clothe our children.

And furthermore, what does being proud of your culture mean? Does it mean you have you walk around wearing sinh everyday?  Does it mean eating Lao food all the time?  Do people even know what Lao and proud mean?  We can’t tell other people,” Don’t be a lousy Lao person” when we are not perfect ourselves. Why don’t we try to just be a good human being everyday?

My friend, the president of LCC and my daughter, Anora  who is half Spanish and half Lao. We do our part in telling other people about our culture and ethnicity but we also are proud to be Americans.

 

I love myself but let me get fake boobies!

*** Yes, one day I may want bigger boobs and when that day comes, I sure will be upfront about it instead of pretending that FINALLY I have reached puberty at 44!!”

Why do women say shit like, ” I love myself unconditionally” then proceed to go get fake boobs or fake ass or fake nose or whatever body parts they want. It makes them look so stupid to say things like that when everybody knows what they got done! Instead why can’t they be honest and say, ” I love myself but you know what, bigger boobs and ass will make me even more  happier!”  Besides, some of us may want to know who did your boobs so we can get some ourselves!

Boys and puberty stinks!

 

” Austin you need to put deodorant on because you are stinking up this car!” My daughter, the blunt one yells at her brother as he got in the car. I have to admit she was right but she didn’t have to be so rude about it! I gave her the evil eye before turning to my son in the backseat and said in a more gentler tone, ” Son, you do need to put deodorant on.” According to the website, Sutter Health , during puberty, boys will go through many physical changes such as growth spurt, acne, facial and underarm hair and genitalia growth just to name a few things.

I don’t about the rest of you but growing up in a Lao household, puberty was not something we discuss openly. So I didn’t have a point of reference to fall back on except my own experience with my daughter. When my daughter hit puberty, I was candid with her because my mother never talked about periods, pubic hair, or boobs! However, being a single mom, with no man in the house, I was struggling with how to tell my son about what his body was going to go through once he hits puberty. Should I be as candid? Should I just blurt out, ” Son your balls and penis will grow during this time? Your voice will squeak and yes you may grow man boobs?” Even though I prize myself for being a “modern” Lao woman and mom, I just couldn’t bring myself to say those things to my son so I consult with my teenage daughter about how I should talk to Austin about puberty. She reassured me and said, ” Mom leave this up to me. I’ll take care of it!” Little did I know that she would be so blunt about it that she verged on being crude!

I remember clear as day what  Anora, my daughter’s puberty “talk” with her brother consisted of. There we were driving around looking for a place to have lunch when she turned to her brother and said, ” Austin, I just wanted to let you know that mom and I are here for you if you have any questions about puberty. You know boys your age, will probably start masturbating and stuff like that so don’t worry we will not invade your privacy if you feel the need to!”  Looking back I don’t know WHY I was so shock by what she said to her brother considering how upfront she is but I was still SHOCKED!” I gave her that ” Are you on crack?” look and she responded with, ” Hello mother, you said talk to him about puberty!” I exclaimed, ” Yes, but about acne, and body hair and shit like that!” Just when my daughter and I was about to continue our heated argument, my son Austin, calmly announced, “My class was given the puberty talk last month so…” Well, that took the wind out of our sail and I responded, “Well, I’m glad they did but if you have anymore questions ask me and not your crazy sister!”

The point of the story is, just be honest with your child about puberty and do not leave them in the dark even though puberty can be an embarrassing topic to bring up!