Changing our Routines

We all have routines or rituals we follow everyday. It could be a simple thing like having coffee and a muffin every morning or taking the same route to work or doing things in certain order. While order and structure is good, we need to break up that monotonous cycle or pattern because it will start to feel like we are a rat stuck in a maze, trapped, angry, and in despair. Change up the order in which you do things. Spend time with different people. Go outside your comfort zone. Take up new challenges. Shift your life’s paradigm by exploring new ideas and thoughts. If your life has become a comfortable routine or pattern but doesn’t give you joy then become the agent of change, the source of your own happiness.

This gentlemen inspires me, makes me realize how we can live a good quality life if we want. Watch and learn:

Why are there so many men seeking younger girls for relationships?

Lately, I have seen a rise in Laotian older men dating younger girls and even marrying them. One of these older men is my grandma’s brother who went back to Laos to get a wife. She is in her twenties and he is in his sixties. Even though he doesn’t look like his age, I still find their relationship uncomfortable and awkward to accept. Maybe one of the reason is that she is half my age.

My grandma’s brother is not the first case of Laotian men going back to the village to find a wife. I just find it interesting that they can’t find a women here in the U.S. or want one from here. Many men and women have told me one of the reason why so many Laotian men are flocking back to the motherland for a spouse is because the Laotian women here has become too Americanized. Also many Laotian women are no longer content with being a traditional housewife whereas a woman from the village would be happy with a simple life. Of course this is all a matter of opinion.

Besides Laotian men I have heard about many stories of American men going to Asian countries to find wives. I find it sad and disturbing that they have to resort this to find a wife. I find it hard to believe that these young girls are in love with these old men! Maybe I’m fickle but I think they are being used by girls for money and or a Visa. Why would all these men go through the trouble for finding love in a foreign country? Do they think these girls are innocent and would love them for themselves? I truly feel sorry for them because they are so desperate for love that they would resort to this.

If you are interested in seeing more about this subject, watch the trailer. According to Youtube description, “Seeking Asian Female” is an eccentric modern love story about Steven and Sandy—an aging white man with “yellow fever” who is obsessed with marrying any Asian woman, and the young Chinese bride he finds online.

Facebook Gone Wild!

It seems like eons ago when Myspace was the cyber “It” place to be. However with the inception of FACEBOOK, Myspace became a forgotten relic, an empty space. Recently, Justin Timberlake, has contributed his own funds to revive the defunct beast in hopes of bringing people back to the space. Time will tell if his ambitious endeavor is worth the effort or worth the millions he has injected into the project of providing a place for music lovers.

Even though I am no longer on Myspace, I have considered going back to that familiar space due to the recent craziness I have seen on FACEBOOK. For example, sometime when I log on to FACEBOOK, I wonder if I had accidently enter a porn site due to the posting of naked pictures of women! I find myself asking, ” Where the hell am I?” Besides the frequent nude pictures of random people, there has been a rash of shock and awe type of photos of death or mutilation. For example, tonight when I logged on, one of the first thing I saw when I scroll down was a picture of a dead man with his privates mutilated! Seriously, why would you post something grotesque like that or pictures of nude people you know or don’t even know? Are you really starving for attention? Do you honestly think you will gain popularity or followers by shocking us? These are some of the questions that comes to mind when I am exposed to some of this ridiculousness. Yes, many of you are probably saying,” Don’t look then!” or ” It’s America we can do whatever we want!” While I understand that we all have a choice and can do what we want, I still think we should show some restraint. Just because we can say, do and be whatever we want, doesn’t mean we should. I am starting to think that FACEBOOK has been hijacked by Joe Francis, the founder of Girls Gone Wild because FACEBOOK has gone wild!

I find this commentary by an unknown person to be true when it comes to FACEBOOK.

“WELCOME TO FACEBOOK The place where people add you as a FRIEND but walk past you in the street. Where RELATIONSHIPS are perfect. LIARS believe they are telling the truth. Your ENEMIES visit your profile the most. Yet your FRIENDS & FAMILY block you. And even though you write what you are really thinking, Someone always takes it the wrong way… people think your status is for them when it’s not!”

Global We Got Married

In May my friend introduced me to the popular Korean show, “Global We Got Married”. “In this global spin-off of the wildly popular ‘We Got Married’, it becomes a meeting of cultures as celebrities from different countries are coupled together and work through their reality-TV marriage.” The couple that I found myself attached to is Ok Taec Yeon
(Korean pop star from the group 2PM) and Wu Ying Jie (popular Taiwanese actress and singer). Even though I knew the show was scripted to a certain extent and that their marriage was “fake”, I couldn’t help but find myself wishing their make-believe union was real. It was not long before I suspended my disbelief and pretended that these two individuals were really a couple. Maybe it’s because they have such a good connection/chemistry that it’s difficult to believe that they are faking it for the show. I along with many fans, expressed our sorrow when the show ended with the tearful parting of these love birds in episode 15. We all wanted the show to continue and found ourselves creating a petition to pressure the creators of the show to give us more episodes.

Based on my own personal experience and observation of other fans, I have concluded that we are obsessed with this show because it depicts the type of romance/love that we want or crave. Secretively I’m sure many of us girls/woman want a man who is humorous, kind, sweet, silly, considerate and goofy like Taec. The relationship that is depicted in the show is sweet and romantic. It is no wonder that so many people became attached to this couple and want their marriage to be real. The “married couple” had great chemistry and that translated quite well onscreen. Ergo, we romantic girls at heart, aspire to find a love like that. Yes, some of us still believe in fairy tales and happily ever after.

If you would like to watch the show here is the link:

Transgender Bathroom Case

Transgender 6 year old wins bathroom case

***I would like to preface this post by saying that I am a mother, educator, and advocator. I do not want anybody to be getting irate and start cussing me out and calling me a hater because of my opinion on this issue. Just keep an open mind before you send me hate mail!:) In order to give you a better understanding of where I’m coming from, I am going to briefly give you my personal history.

When my family and I were in the refugee camp in Thailand, my parents “adopted” a couple of single young men to be part of our family. These young single men did not have their families with them so we absorbed them into our own at the camp. One particular young man in the group became close with my family, we called him our “nanny.” He often watched over us when my parents needed him. Of course back then my siblings did not know he was a transgender. I was only five so I didn’t think of him as different. When we immigrated to America, “Sam” our nanny was left behind until he got sponsored and was able to come to America. Years later my parents would tell me that he was living in California and competed in many beauty pageants for transgenders. I was quite surprised because I didn’t have a clue that he thought he was a woman until my parents told me. For those of you who are confused about what transgender is, GLAAD’s website states that Transgender’ is an umbrella term often used to refer to people whose gender identity differs from their assigned sex at birth”. In the case of my nanny and the little girl in this recent lawsuit that has been in the news, they both identify themselves as a transgender. If you have not heard of the lawsuit in regards to the little six year old, her parents sued the school because they felt that she was discriminated against because she was not allowed to go to the girl’s bathroom. Okay, now this is the part where many of you may have a different opinion than I, but I have to be honest about how I feel about this lawsuit.

Speaking from a parent’s point of view, if I was the parent of the transgender child, I would not want her to be going to the same bathroom as the girls because I would not want them to be making fun of her and start asking questions like, ” Why do you have a penis if you are a girl?” I think it would harm my child more than anything. Kids at that age can not fully understand what transgender is and they can say hurtful things because of ignorance. Also,if I was the parent of the other kids I would not want the transgender child going to the same bathroom as my little girl because I don’t want her to be traumatized when the little kid pulls out her penis. So what is the answer then? I think the transgender child should be allowed to go to the staff’s bathroom instead.

From an advocator stand point, I understand the parents belief that their child is being discriminated against by not being able to go to the girl’s bathroom. However, if you look at the big picture, are they really doing any favor for their child by going public? I say this because this case has made the front news and the child’s face and story is on youtube and in the media where everyone has access to it. This early exposure to the media does more harm than good. The mother says that they will be moving her to a new school to start over but will that really happen? Yes, the new school who more than likely been had been forewarned about this case will probably let her use the girl’s bathroom but will that stop the other kids or parents from discriminating against her? If the child considers himself a girl trapped in a boys body, more than likely he is still trying to deal with the confusion and with this media circus, is that really going to alleviate any stress?

What do you all think? Should the child be allowed to use the same bathroom as the sex she identifies with or do you think it would do more harm than good?

DOMA and Prop 8 Ruling

Today the Defense of Marriage Act(DOMA)and Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional because according to Justice Anthony Kennedy “…it demeans the couple and humiliates tens of thousands of children now being raised by gay couples”. For those of you unfamiliar with Prop 8, it basically defines marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Because of this definition of marriage many legally married gay couples were denied the same benefits and privileges of straight couples (DOMA). If we want to simplify things, the bottom line is: it is unconstitutional to not give the equal rights to a couple because they are the same sex. Of course many proponents of same sex marriage has asked, “Who has a right to define marriage as a union between and man and a woman?” while opponents of same sex marriage (some being religious individuals and groups) defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman in the eyes of God. Whether it be religious beliefs or social norms, it is up to the supreme court to decide what is equal, what is fair, or what is unconstitutional. According to Forbes, ” what does this mean for the social and political questions surrounding gay marriage? Two things are obvious: Proposition 8 is unconstitutional in California, as decided by the lower federal court (not the Supreme Court), and gay marriages there can go forward. And the federal Defense of Marriage Act cannot be used in states that decide to have gay marriage to deny full federal benefits (taxation, etc.) to those in such a union there. What do you think? Should the Supreme Court let each state decide if same sex marriage is legal with full benefits?

To understand this topic better, please take a moment to watch the story of this young man. When I close my eyes

We are waiting in the same line

The lone runner

The lone runner

Last night in my pursuit of the supermoon, I found myself, my kids and their friends on a lonely road. Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic because there were two other cars parked on the side of the dirt road next to us. I don’t know what those two men were doing or discussing because they were speaking in Spanish. We just found it weird that they choose a lonely road to meet but hey who am I to judge since I was out there too!

As we stood there waiting for the sun to set I noticed how many drivers passed by and just stared at us like we were doing something bad. Some even slow down their cars to look even though it was obvious that I was taking pictures of the sunset. I wanted to tell them, ‘Don’t look at me, look to your left at that amazing sunset behind the mountain.” Watching all the people drive by reminds me how we don’t appreciate or take the time to enjoy nature’s glory. Why are we always rushing here and there? Why don’t we take a moment to simply sit, be still, be in the moment and watch the sunset. Are we afraid to slow down because then we have to face our own mortality? Do we constantly fill our lives with activities so we don’t have to remember that we are all waiting in the same line with the same outcome: death.

I deliberately capture the lone runner and kept him in the frame to remind me that life really does not have to be a race to see who will get there first. Eventually we will all get there.